Five A.M. wake-up. Sixteen
and determined to strip my body

            of its girlhood. I want taut triceps
and thighs. I’m doing this

            for him—shape shifting.
Or trying. My knees bend as the concrete

            bottom catches my size-
eleven feet. At 5’9, that slip

            into the water is more jump
than anything skilled. Strokes self-conscious

            and clumsy. Even my goggles
steam, leave red rings. Distort me.